Titles Are Hard

As I spent yet another night staring at my ceiling while sleep eluded me, I decided I would try and give this whole blogging thing a shot. Around 4:30 in the morning I grabbed an old composite notebook and furiously scribbled sentences that most people would interpret as pure incoherence.

These are actually the ones

that make the most sense.

In roughly fifteen minutes I already had two pages filled with ideas for topics I could write about. This made me feel excited. You see, I have a really bad habit of having great ideas that never make it past the light-bulb-turning-on-above-your-head stage. I have a "Eureka!" moment, and then convince myself that the idea is so awesome that there's no need for me to write it down. Not only do I refuse to store these bits of genius on any kind of permanent medium, but within five minutes of epiphanic discovery I am back to doing something utterly typical and mundane. Afterwards, be it a few hours, days, or weeks, something jogs my memory to where I can't exactly remember the idea; I can only remember how incredible it was supposed to be. I then spend all day trying to remember every detail. Since I spent at most five minutes on the initial idea formation, when I try and recall it I conjure up some bastardized monstrosity of what I am now convinced was the comedic equivalent to the cure for cancer.

I don't think that's quite right...

Also, T-Rex doctors wear cut-off lab coats

so their arms can fit.

But I digress. As indicated by the title of this post, once I decided to make this blog and had ideas about what I would write, I had to come up with a title for the blog itself. This proved infinitely harder than I anticipated for two reasons:

1) Most of my ideas were stupid

I probably should have given up here.

As you can see, I apparently had some obsession with including the word 'pun', even though I have absolutely zero ideas for any post even remotely related to puns.

2) My other ideas had already been taken.

Buttholes.

This was initially frustrating because it made me feel unoriginal. Every time I came up with a name, I checked to see if it had been taken. The first few were blogs that somebody had already made, wrote approximately five posts back in 2002, then abandoned. I think there should be an expiration date on blogs. No new posts in five years, you lose rights to the name.

The second frustration came next. I tried using some more obscure names, and found to my dismay that they were taken as well. However, when I typed in the address to see if the blog had any sort of success, I found this instead:

Gaping buttholes.

What the hell is that?! These people created a blog domain name and then never even made the actual blog! I began to take this personally. I imagine some asshole with inexplicable psychic powers whose sole purpose in life is to ruin every idea I have.

I didn't feel like drawing his body.

So we end up here, with the title 'Initially J'. After all my good ideas were exhausted, I wanted to call this 'Just J'. That stems from back in high school, and really would have been a small inside joke between myself and people who will likely never read this. But, of course, the psychic asshole beat me to the punch and had already taken it. Now I know his name, and it's Jason, and he thinks he's clever and calls himself J. That's not fair. My name is Jay, so J is pretty much the only nickname I can have that makes any sense. It doesn't even really count as a nickname, it's just a lazy way of spelling my actual name. How dare somebody else use my real name as a nickname?

Appropriate response.

So I vented my frustration to my mother, because I'm unemployed, live with my parents, and am pathetic like that. So after a few moments, she said, "What about 'Initially J'?" I thought for a moment. That could work. So I used that as a title, and while I sit here ranting about how hard it was for me to think up a name, I come full circle and realize that my new title is, in fact, a pun.